I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
