So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
