lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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