please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Randomize
