I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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