I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
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