I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
