chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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