I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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