I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
