Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
