So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
