eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize
