just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
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