I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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