I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Randomize
