Need sex. Gaining weight.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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