remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Randomize
