I wish I could punch you in the face.
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
