If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
