meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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