I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Randomize
