You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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