I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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