i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
