I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
