just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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