if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
