im having a threesome with these popsicles
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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