Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
