Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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