Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Randomize
