I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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