We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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