I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
