You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
