shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize
