I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
