After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
that may or may not have been my penis.
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