when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
We left the knife in your bed.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
