You're so nebulous sometimes
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
