i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
