don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
