All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Randomize
