I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
