Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
