my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
