Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
where are you?
Hypothermia
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
