He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
