hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
