Nicole vs. Life
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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